The xpurple FAQ

NOTE: Please send me any suggestions or questions.

INTRO
1.1 What is xpurple?
1.2 Who is xpurple?
1.3 Can I be xpurple?
1.4 Can I meet xpurple?
1.5 What size dress does he wear?
1.6 Can I date you?
1.7 Who do you think you are?

DETAILS
2.1 Where does xpurple live?
2.2 What does he do for a living?
2.3 What sort of things does xpurple enjoy?
2.4 The king of no pants? You must explain.
2.5 Sex, tell me about sex!

Answers!

1.1 What is xpurple?
xpurple is a guy who is very bitter about life. He's been pretty lucky in general but not without a great deal of torment.

1.2 Who is xpurple?

Who is xpurple? That's a tough question to answer because most of his history is shrouded in mystery. He claims to be a native from Nebraska, but some do not believe that.
He likes to confuse people. The way he speaks lends itself to hide any sort of truth in what he is saying, yet gives enough to keep the listener wondering.

1.3 Can I be xpurple?
No, no, no.

1.4 Can I meet xpurple?
If you are that brave then probably. Just shoot him an email and see if you can work things out.
Just as a note though. Do not visit his house without letting him know first. He is liable to shoot you out of spite.

1.5 What size dress does he wear?
Size six, thanks for asking.

1.6 Can I date you?
Probably not. He's a very, very bitter man who is much more comfortable with pornography than a real woman.

1.7 Who do you think you are?
xpurple is a madman.

2.1 Where does xpurple live?
Some say he lives in the bottom of an abandoned missile silo.
Others suggest that he lives on the edge of a small town in a run down shack.
There are even some people who think he is homeless.

2.3 What sort of things does xpurple enjoy?
All the finer things in life.
1. Pornography
2. Really Hot tea
3. Loud German music
4. Cats
5. Pornography
6. Blowing things up
7. Being left alone
8. Anything Japan
9. Did I mention pornography?

2.4 The king of no pants? You must explain.
Yes, the king of no pants. He hates pants more than life itself.
You can read the original story of how he became the official king of no pants here.
Note from editor: Soon he will be the emperor of no arms (Think Straight jacket).

2.5 Sex, tell me about sex!
There is in fact little to tell. He spends all his time sitting around reading erotic novels, or viewing the latest Usenet porn from all over the world.
Sure he has had sex before, but he did not enjoy it much. He's the kind of guy who would much prefer to watch other people have sex rather than have to do it himself.